ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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