she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Randomize
