we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
false alarm. still invincible.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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