I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i permit you to call me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
