This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
