i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
