The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
