so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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