My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i've created a new STD.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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