Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize