dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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