K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
