im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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