He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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