Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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