She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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