i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize