i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
