now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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