Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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