So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
