yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
