My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
where are you?
Hypothermia
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
