you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
