the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize