At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The air taste purple.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
