remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
