1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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