i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
