so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize