I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize