how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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