Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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