so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
