i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
