Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize