Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
