Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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