I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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