turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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