Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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