You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
