I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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