Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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