May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
