I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
