look no pants
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
