Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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