somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
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apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
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Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.