Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(559): View more from California

the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.

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(301): View more from Maryland

There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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(586): View more from Michigan

Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.

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(702): View more from Nevada

So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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(914): View more from New York

There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do

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(250): View more from British Columbia

After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?

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