john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia