Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight