lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night