You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
