I am in a vortex of obligation.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
