Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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