Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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